Quotes From Gay Parents and Their Children

Quotes From Gay Parents and Their Children

"I want you to know that I think my family is great, so why don't you people just stop all this hate? I know that love comes right from the heart. My parents taught me love from the start."-Hannah Jurs-Allen, fifth-grader, daughter of lesbian parents

"Fear however, cannot stop the march toward freedom. History validates fear as an obstacle, not as an end. Our nation was fearful of abolishing slavery, to the point that it literally divided the country. Slavery was abolished and the nation healed. Our nation was fearful over women having the right to vote. Yet we, as a nation, have gotten through that as well. A nation that was fearful of interracial marriage now has a sitting justice enjoying such a relationship. New Jersey was fearful of two men adopting a little boy, and fearful of a little boy being nurtured to health by these two men. In one bold move, the State overcame its fear long enough to make New Jersey a leader. Now, we too believe. We believe in a country that is big enough and great enough to accept and nurture all of its citizens. We believe that most Americans are becoming painfully aware of persecution and inequality. We believe that their hearts are growing and soon, very soon, the love in their hearts will overpower the fear in their minds. It will speak louder than the hatred and evil we constantly battle."-Jon Holden Galluccio, gay father

"If somebody asked me what it's like to have a lesbian mom, I'd say, 'It's fun. I get to talk to her about girls!'"-Falcon Meguel Frank Sison, eighth-grader, son of lesbian mother

"I get really infuriated when people ask ridiculous questions about whether gays and lesbians should be allowed to be foster parents or adopt children. What is it that heterosexual people think we do, anyway? Karen and I are normal, everyday people: we are parents; we run a business together; we are fortunate enough to have a mortgage to pay; we do laundry; we pay the bills; we've started a family support group in our area with a monthly newsletter that goes out to about six hundred gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender families and allies; we started Foster Dignity, an organization that collects suitcases, essentials, and clothing for children going into foster care; and we chaperon field trips and volunteer in our son's classroom."-Beth Bellavance-Grace, foster and adoptive lesbian mother

"Some people worry that gay parents will have gay kids. Recently, there was a case that received a great deal of media attention in which Sharon Bottoms, a lesbian single mom, lost custody of her young son to her own mother. The boy's grandmother feared that growing up in a lesbian household would influence him to become gay. It's ironic because the grandmother is straight and she had already raised a lesbian daughter herself. Obviously, any parents can have gay children."-Jonathon Cooper, adoptive gay father

" . . . I think it would be really boring if everybody had just a mom and a dad. It's really special how I have a mom and a mama!"-Cody Jurs-Allen, second-grader, son of lesbian mothers

" . . . I asked [my son] Jonathan what he felt were the strongest negative and the strongest positive aspects for him in having grown up with lesbian parents. He said the strongest benefit he felt he gained was that he knew that he did not have a lot of the hang-ups that some other boys did about men and women. And the most negative aspect he felt, Jonathan said, was the ridicule he got from some kids with straight parents. 'You mean, from your peers?' I said. 'Oh no,' he answered promptly. 'My peers know better. I mean other kids.'"-Audre Lorde, lesbian mother

"The most important thing to me is that I'm a parent and the main responsibility of parents is to make the world a better place for their kids, whether it's buying them an extra toy, making sure they have food, or making a major social change. At this point in our lives, [my husband] Jon and I feel we can make a significant change in the world."-Michael Galluccio, gay father

"After I told my eldest daughter Kristin that I was gay, she said, 'You spend a lot of time with your friend Douglas. I think it's great, but I'm just wondering why.' I told her that I was in love with him. Then she said that she was worried that Douglas might not know I was gay. I said to her, 'Of course he knows that I'm gay. He's gay too. That's why we're together.' And Kristin said, 'Ohhhhhh.' Then it all sunk in and made sense to her."-Martin Phillips, gay father

"Black children of lesbian couples have an advantage because they learn, very early, that oppression comes in many different forms, none of which have anything to do with their own worth. To help give me perspective, I remember that for years, in the name-calling at school, boys shouted at [my son] Jonathan not-'your mother's a lesbian'-but rather-'your mother's a nigger.'"-Audre Lorde, lesbian mother

"We're pioneers and yes, not everyone is gonna embrace us for creating these types of families. But we have to start somewhere. And we're hoping that as interracial couples were discouraged from having children 20 years ago, we're hoping that 20 years from now, it will be no big deal that two men or two women are raising a family."-Will Halm, gay father

"People who don't like gays feel that way because there aren't so many gay people and they're not in a gay family so they don't know what it feels like. The other kind of family that is not lesbian or gay was started first, and people think it shouldn't change. They think people are supposed to stay the same. I want them to know that I probably have more than they do because I have two moms and a stepmom too!"-Keely Coffrin-Shaw, third-grader, daughter of lesbian mothers

"The strongest lesson I can teach my son is the same lesson I teach my daughter: how to be who he wishes to be for himself. And the best way I can do this is to be who I am and hope that he will learn from this not how to be me, which is not possible, but how to be himself. And this means how to move to that voice from within himself, rather than to those raucous, persuasive, or threatening voices from outside, pressuring him to be what the world wants him to be. And that is hard enough."-Audre Lorde, lesbian mother

"My grandpa majored in biology in college, but he wasn't allowed to teach at a high school because he was black. Not long ago, I spoke on a panel at a high school with my mom. This guy in the audience told my mom that he wouldn't want her to teach his kids because she is a lesbian. It reminded me so much of what happened to my grandpa. I think homophobia is like any other 'ism.' It's the racism of today. Like racism, you learn it from the people you grow up with, from your parents, from television, and from society."-Rayna White, eleventh-grader, daughter of a lesbian mother

"When we first moved to our new house, we went to all our neighbors and introduced ourselves. I would say, 'Hi, my name is Jon and this is my husband, Michael. We just moved into the white house down the street, and we are going to have a baby.' After they shook the shocked looks off their faces, they would say 'Wow, that's great. Is there anything we can do to help?'"-Jon Holden Galluccio, gay father

"Most likely there be always be women who move with women, women who live with men, men who choose men. I work for a time when women with women, women with men, men with men, all share the work of a world that does not barter bread or self for obedience, nor beauty, nor love. And in that world we will raise our children free to choose how best to fulfill themselves. For we are jointly responsible for the care and raising of the young, since that they be raised is a function, ultimately, of the species."-Audre Lorde, lesbian mother

"People have asked us if it's hard on the kids having gay dads. Well, it's easier to get along in our culture if you're Christian, but does that mean that we Jewish folks should raise our kids Christian? Should black people not have children because bigotry will make their lives too rough? Hogwash!"-Michael Serkin-Poole, gay father

"We did a lot of research before we started. We didn't want to bring a child into a home that was unhealthy. We realize that the odds are pretty good that he'll get picked on. But it's not that much different than being picked on for being short or for being Irish or for being anything. I was picked on in high school because I was short. My parents didn't realize to look out for that, to prepare me. Well, I'm one up on my parents, and I think he'll handle that adversity better than I."-Jon Holden Galluccio, gay father